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Mental Health Meditations

Timely articles on mental health issues and spirituality

Marriage in the Time of COVID-19

2/17/2021

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One disturbing trend that I have seen in my practice since the advent of the COVID-19 virus is
the explosion of the need for marriage counseling. I have had so many new clients as well as
former clients contact me for help with struggling marriages, and I know from talking to
colleagues that I am not alone. According to the New York Post, divorce rates have been spiking
since April 2020, which is just one month after many states started lockdown protocols. The
data showed that 31 percent of couples admitted that irreparable damage had been done to
their relationship during lockdowns. The combination of spending more time together,
increased anxiety, deaths of loved ones, homeschooling children, working from home,
unemployment, and financial strain along with a myriad of other things has put couples in a
very difficult position.

Though COVID may not be responsible for all the problems couples have faced, it certainly has
exacerbated things. With the added strain marriages are crumbling like never before. Previous
separate routines may have masked existing problems that forced lockdowns brought to light.
COVID may not cause breakups, but it is more of a catalyst for break ups that may have
happened anyway. Even couples who were stronger before the pandemic and did not make
major shifts in their family roles have still been susceptible because coping skills that were used
previously have been taken away such as going out with friends, playing sports, or just spending
time alone.

It is important to find ways to spend quality time together and not just a large quantity of time.
It is also important to spend time apart and engaging in self-care. You might feel comfortable
going out to restaurants for dates, but if you don’t there are still fun things that you can do at
home or at a safe distance. Here are some ways to combat the stress that the pandemic could
be placing on your marriage:
  • Go for a picnic when the weather permits (I know it has not been great lately!) Pack a picnic basket at home or pick up some food from your favorite restaurant, grab a picnic blanket and go find a pretty spot to share a nice meal together. I came across this girl and had to share her page: https://www.facebook.com/Mels-Premium-Picnics-114286277090388/. She sets up romantic picnics for people at different spots around town. It is an amazing idea!
  • Do an at home date night kit. There are many places online that you can find interesting things to do for date nights that can be delivered right to your door. Here are just a few that I have found, but a simple Google search can turn up many.
    • https://datenightinbox.com/
    • https://cratedwithlove.com/
    • https://www.huntakiller.com/
    • https://thehappily.co/
  • A more budget friendly option might be to cook a meal together, have a screen free night, read a book or devotional together and discuss it, work on a craft or household project together, or go for a walk together.
  • Find ways to spend time apart. This is equally as important as spending time together, so don’t neglect this one. You may need to call or Face Time a friend in your car, go for a hike or a walk in the park, or get involved in an online class. It may help to find your own space in your house that you can go to when things get tense. You might even personalize this space so that it feels comforting to you.

Remember to give each other grace and try to have empathy for one another.
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Destigmatizing Mental Illness in the Church

2/4/2021

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Join me in imagining for a moment if you will...

Imagine that you (or perhaps a close family member) have a health issue that could present challenges in different areas of your life. Let’s say that the issue is one that is quite common and treatable, but you may need to see a specialist periodically. You are experiencing this health issue by no fault of your own...some people just have it. Maybe it’s asthma, diabetes, or perhaps an autoimmune syndrome or an allergy? Maybe you suffered a traumatic injury of some sort? Would you share this issue with others in your circle? Would you seek treatment to improve your quality of life? I’m guessing that for most of us the answer sounds something like “Well of course I would!”

Now, consider the exact same scenario, but instead of the health concern being any of the things named above, imagine that it’s a mental health issue. Would you still share with those around you? Would you still seek treatment to improve your quality of life? 

If you answered that you would not, there are likely a number of reasons. But, I would venture to guess that some part of your hesitancy would be due to the stigma associated with mental health in our culture. The conversation about mental health is becoming more prevalent (as is evidenced by the work that Woodland is doing….Way to go, Woodland!). But overall, as a culture, and as Christians, we still have a lot of work to do. In any given year, 1 in every 5 adults, and 1 in 6 children/adolescents experience a mental health issue. In the time of COVID, these statistics are likely much higher.  

Stigma refers to stereotypes, or negative views, that are attributed to a person/group whose experiences, characteristics or behaviors are seen as different from the norm. Stigma is often rooted in misinformation and fear.  Over time, stigma is internalized and can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, or inadequacy. Those affected may feel tainted in their identity in some way. 

But we must ask ourselves...what does the Bible say about our identity? It tells us that we are created in God’s image and that we are his masterpiece. He saw our unformed body and has ordained all of our days. He knows of our challenges and suffering, and he has plans for us. His word assures us that his plans give us a future and hope!  (Genesis 1:27; Ephesians 2:10; Psalm 139:16; Jeremiah 29:11). 

So, as Christians, how can we work to destigmatize mental illness? Here are a few thoughts:

  • If you are suffering, know that you are not alone (remember..at least 1 in 5 people!). Speaking openly about your struggles opens the door not only for you to receive support, but for others to share their struggles too. Shared struggle can be an opportunity to speak truth about Christ’s love to others.
  • Offer the gift of your presence to others. It’s okay if you don’t understand exactly what they are going through.  A spirit of loving care and a listening ear goes a long way. That being said....recognize the limits of what you can do as a friend/caregiver, and encourage people to seek professional help when appropriate.
  • Avoid perpetuating messages that may unintentionally increase stigma in the church. Some of these might include the idea that mental illness is a sign of weakness, result of sin, lack of faith, or that the person just needs to surrender the issue to God. Of course we want to encourage folks to turn to God for help in their trials. And, we certainly want to love them through acts of service and prayer. But, it’s important that we also encourage them to seek professional help when needed.  
  • Avoid flippant use of mental health “labels” in seemingly innocuous ways. (“I’m so ADHD...That just gave me PTSD...This mess is bothering my OCD...Don’t have a panic attack...You’re being so bipolar”). These words may seem harmless, but such statements can minimize and invalidate the trials that folks dealing with these challenges face in their daily lives.. 
  • Similarly, remember that a person with a mental health challenge is just that...a person! Let’s not define them by their struggle. Try to use “person first language”. So, instead of calling someone an “addict” or a “schizophrenic”, consider saying that they are “a person living with an addiction” or a “person with schizophrenia”. This helps us remember that they are a whole person, created in God’s image, and their mental health struggle is just one part of their story.

We know that God provides comfort to the suffering and meets the needs of the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18; Psalm 145:18), and we must trust him on our journey. However, this trust doesn’t always mean waiting out a situation of suffering. Rather, it may look like taking a faith-filled step to harness resources that God has placed in your path, whether that be a counselor, friend, support group, or medication. Friends, please don’t suffer alone. Reaching out does not indicate weakness or lack of faith. Rather, getting help may provide you with healing and clarity that will allow you to experience God’s presence in your life more fully.   

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    Authors

    Laura Dempsey is a licensed social worker and therapist with nearly 20 years of experience counseling children and families.

    Dr. Meagan Jones is a licensed clinical mental health counselor focusing on a wide range of issues, including trauma and family counseling.

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  • Home
  • Explore
    • Service times and location
    • Who we are
    • What we believe
    • Staff
    • Recent sermons
    • Calendar
    • Stay Connected at Woodland
    • Mental Health Resources >
      • Mental Health Meditations
  • Ministries
    • Children >
      • Virtual Kids Zone
      • Summer Camp at Woodland
    • Youth >
      • Youth NEWS
    • Adults
    • Keenagers / Sr. Adults
    • Music
    • Missions
  • Contact Us
  • Weekday Preschool
  • Online Contributions